Oof, what a week it’s been. Over the past 6 days I have: gotten a little bit internet famous which caused an insane amount of anxiety, given an interview on TV, spent all night throwing up thanks to a UTI which made my face all splotchy then went to urgent care for antibiotics and ended up having to be there for 4 hours because I was severely dehydrated, gotten into my first car accident ever (totally not my fault and no one was injured so not a huge deal but still), spilled a kettle of boiling all over my upper thigh and ended up with a big, gnarly burn that needed to be dressed twice a day, and started a new job. Oh yeah, and yesterday I found out that my friend who had agreed to photograph the wedding has been transferred for work JUST FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER, so she can’t come.
I’m tired. I’m getting married in 5 weeks. I’m kinda pretty overwhelmed. But that’s okay.
Last night I was scrolling through some of my posts here and I realized I’ve been missing some kind of mark. My tone is too dry, my posts too neat and perfectly curated. Most of all, I was mortified to realize that I come off like I actually take myself seriously.
My main goal when I started this blog was to be really honest. Social media is already saturated enough with photos of the beautifully curated lives of people who can somehow afford an immaculately furnished apartment despite the fact that they appear to spend their whole lives artfully drinking lattes in cafes. That’s not me. I wanted to write about how dumb it is that weddings are so expensive and make readers feel better about their crafty misadventures by gleefully owning up to my own real life Pinterest fails. But I think I sort of lost that focus.
The real truth is that I’ve got a messy life where I rarely know what I’m doing and things are constantly falling apart and that’s okay because life is just kinda hard sometimes and the best thing you can do is laugh at yourself and try to at least stumble toward a good direction. I haven’t eaten a real vegetable in days and I’m secretly starting to worry that the wedding is gonna be a disaster and yesterday at the grocery store I paid actual money for granola bars instead of making them myself and honestly it feels really good to be straight up about what my real life looks like.
So I’m gonna do more of it.